My Lost
by Lia Lights
Summary: Rose is pregnant. And things don't get better for her.
1. Surpise

1: Surpise

I felt my stomach give a turn and I quickly woke up from my dream and ran to my bathroom I threw up and shook my head when I was done. Its been the third time this week, a lot of things are out of whack my eating habits, my sleep pattern, the vomiting, and the strong feeling of being something my mother wasn't. My eyes widen in realization. I Rosemarie Hathaway was pregnant with Dimitri's baby. The thought and knowing was strange how can two dhampirs' have a baby? My hand dropped to my stomach and my mind raced to my mother "Oh crap." I breath I flushed and went to Lissa's dorm as fast as I could.

I knocked on her door and waited the door opened and I saw Christian and I closed my eyes not thinking about what they did last night "Hey Rose. What's-"

"I need to see Lissa." I cut him off Lissa came and I went to her "Rose, what's wrong?" Lissa asked "Don't ask me how okay?" I moved my dark hair back I was going to tell but I felt my stomach give a turn and I quickly went to the bathroom and bend over the toilet but nothing "Rose are you sick?" Lissa asked I laugh "Not even close." I said and finally threw up Lissa held my hair back "Rose, what's wrong?" Lissa asked worried now "I'm pregnant." I said when I was done "What?" I cupped my hands and rinse my mouth out. I looked at Lissa "I'm pregnant." I repeated "With Adrian?" Christian asked we both looked at Christian then at each other "Dimitri?" Lissa asked I nodded "Oh crap Rose." Lissa said I nodded and sat on her bed "I'm more scared on what everyone will think." I said "The famous Rosemarie Hathaway, scared of what other's think of her?" we looked at Christian "Since when do you care?" he asked "She meant her mother and the council." Lissa said.

Christian formed a little 'O' with his lips in understanding "Come on, I bet Janine won't-"

"You don't know a thing of my mother Christian." I said crying I got up and glared at him "My mother will NOT understand where I am coming from. I won't get rid of my child." I said "How'd you know what I was thinking?" Christian asked Lissa looked at him then at me shocked I stuttered "I-I don't know." I said then got a headache "Rose?" I began to feel Lissa's emotion through the bond: scared, worried, and confused: Christian watched me "Whoa!" Christian guided me to the bed and I was laid down I push my hair back "How the hell did I get into this mess?" I asked "The same way how you got into other things." I glared at Christian Lissa tapped his chest "Okay its time for you to go," they kissed quickly, "see you soon." Christian left and Lissa came and sat down next to me "Rose, what the hell were you thinking?" Lissa asked "I love him." I said "Rose, he's bad now." I looked away "No he's not." I said "He is Rose!"

I felt the tears streaming down my face I know he's a Strigoi a vampire that kills without care. I then realized something "He will care." I sat and sat up Lissa looked at me "Rose, you can't think that." Lissa said I looked at Lissa "How can you be so sure Lissa? You did it with me when I died. Remember?" I snapped Lissa sigh and through the bond she felt hurt "Where will you go?" Lissa asked I got up and was going to the door "I need to find his hometown." I said "And that's where?" Lissa asked "Siberia." I said "Rose!" Lissa hissed I looked at Lissa "That place-"

"I can take care of myself Lissa." I said and left to pack my things.

I was in my dorm packing a bag of cloths and weapons there was a knock on my door "Go away Adrian." I said the door opened and I sensed Adrian "How do... where are you going little dhampir?" Adrian asked I ignored him and went to my dresser seeing my Christmas gifts from my mother and Lissa I put them on and felt a quick rush of light and goodness I saw Adrian holding my passport "Hey!" I snatch it from him "Don't look through my things!" I hissed Adrian shrugged "So Siberia hu?" I looked at Adrian "No." I lied "You can't lie to me Rose." Adrian said, I can tell he's sober and not high off his mind, he can think and can tell now without so much things in his system I sigh "Yes." I said.

"What if he's not there Rose?" Adrian asked "He will!" I growled "Why would he go home Rose?" I was snarling but was packing "Think of it why?" I faced Adrian "Why can't I follow what _I _ think? Why does everyone think he will kill his family?" my hand dropped "Because he's bad." I zipped my bag up and left "Rose wait." Adrian came and put his hand on my shoulder "Do you need some cash?" I stopped and looked at Adrian "Adrian, you can't do this." I said Adrian sigh "Try, I don't care. Here." Adrian took some money out in a wad or wads and gave it to me "Buy food, rent a room to stay, and stay safe." Adrian said "I will-"

"I mean the unborn." how the hell "Lissa?" Adrian nodded "Rose!" I turn and see Lissa her blond hair was in a ponytail her jade green eyes looked into my brown eyes "Please Rose, don't-"

"Lissa, I already told you I have to find him." I said Lissa sigh "I won't use compulsion on you," I was shocked that she just said that to me and to see Adrian nodding in agreement with Lissa, "do what you have to and come back." Lissa said "I doubt I'd come back if I don't find Dimitri." I said they both sigh "Just go and find him." Adrian said I hugged them both and left without a second glance at the Academy.

I left everything behind. Lissa, Adrian, the school, Christian. But out of this I will find Dimitri.


	2. Leaving

2: Leaving

I was at the airport on my way to Siberia, to where my Dimitri lives. I waited for my plane to come I took my iPod out and played a Cascada song I was at the airport for a good three hours when I felt nausea take toll that was when my nature came I looked up and looked around and saw three Strigoi two male one female, the female looked a lot like my mother while the male had black hair and they all had red eyes I got up and took my bag with my and quickly left my spot but knew they saw me. They are heartless, they kill some use to be human others use to be a Moroi. Moroi are good vampires, they would turn to not go crazy due to there power or to gain power. For Christian's parents they did it so they won't go insane but they died.

"Watch out Miss!" I turn and staked one of the Strigoi in the heart when I saw a male, a Guardian with a tattoo on his face looking at me the other two were shocked "Bet you didn't see that coming now hu?" they hissed the baby which now seemed to be alive in me moved and kicked I wince they took that as a sign to attack me the guy took them down with fire and it shocked me I looked at him and wince again at the pain "Hey Miss!" he came and helped me sit down "You okay?" I looked up at him and nodded "Yeah I'm fine." I said trying to sound okay but I knew I wasn't "What's your name?" he asked if I give him my real name I'll be sent back to the Academy, if I don't its a lie. For some reason I don't want to lie to him "Rosemarie Hathaway." I said he was taken aback "Dimitri's talked about you a lot when he was on duty." I felt happy about that.

"Names Calvin Jace." we shook hands "I don't mean to be rude," wow I shocked myself on that, "but are you a Moroi?" I asked Calvin smiled and nodded "I am." he said "But Jace? I've never heard-"

"No one does, we are secret to the other royals." Calvin said I heard my flight I got up "Rosemarie-"

"Rose." I corrected "Rose, are you heading to Russia?" I nodded "Well I guess your trying to find Dimitri hu?" I walked "Yep." I said "Let me come and help you. I know of your condition." I stopped and faced Calvin "How-?"

"Lissa." I sigh "No." I said he came and looked into my eyes they are a nice gray color and his hair was jet black to the point you saw blue in it "You will let me come with you." Calvin said I felt myself nodding "I will help you." I nodded and we got on the plane.

I woke up under a thin cover and everything rushed to me quickly I got up and went to find Calvin. I saw Calvin sitting in the dinning room reading the paper and drinking coffee "Hey!" I took the paper from him he looked at me amused "You used compulsion on me!" I was pissed off "I did." Calvin said "Why? I can take care-"

"You cannot." Calvin said "Oh come on just because-"

"It is because you are pregnant Rose." Calvin said "You could have harm my baby!" I snapped and felt the kick again "Trust me I didn't." Calvin said.

After I calmed down and changed we talked on how we would get to where Dimitri lived or use to live. I slump on the sofa and push my hair back Calvin looked at me "Rose?" Calvin said "We are never going to find him." I said Calvin sigh "Rose, you can't think that." Calvin said I got up and went to the window "Calvin, have you ever been in the situation that I am in?" I asked not facing him "I have." I looked at Calvin "Her name was Jessica, she was a human and I loved her dearly. I told her about the vampires all three," I am still considered a vampire though I am half, "we were already married at the time and had twin girls name Marissa and Kelly. We were out with my guards. Jessica saw a friend of hers and they went to talk I had to find a feeder," a feeder is a human who lets Moroi drink blood from them they get high off the saliva from the Moroi and they don't mind, "I told one of my guards to watch but they were to keen on protecting me so we were getting in the car when I heard her scream."

Calvin's eyes turned deadly "A Strigoi came and bit her we were all to late to save her, Jessica changed within minutes I tried to reason with her but she just ran off." Calvin took a deep breath I went to the sofa and sat down "About five years later I was out hunting. I knew how to fight by then, to protect my girls from their mother. I saw her she was as I remembered but with red eyes she saw me and looked hurt but her nature to kill us off came I pulled my stake and killed her she was crying then and told me to watch the girls. They knew of their mother, it scared me how they did know." Calvin looked at me "There is a way to turn back to their normal state." Calvin said "How?" I asked.

"Lissa can heal, she saved you from death. She can save Dimitri." Calvin said I looked at Calvin and thought of it.


	3. Searching

3: Searching

The next day Calvin and I went to look for something to eat. I tried to not look bad when I ate so I took my time, it was hard because I has a headache, seeing black things, and felt sick all at the same time. Calvin was reading and drinking coffee Moroi don't have to eat like humans or like Dhampir, I stopped because something was off in the food I looked at my eggs, bacon, hash-brown, and cooked ham Calvin looked at me "Rose?" I put a hand on my mouth and ran to the bathroom and threw up I cough to catch my breath and I slipped into Lissa's mind: "I'm sure she's okay." Adrian said "Adrian, I hope your right." Lissa said she was worried as always "Lissa, you can't-"

_''I have to Adrian, she's pregnant."_ Lissa said _"If Rose was here now, she would have told you the same thing."_ Adrian said wow for once he's sticking up for me Lissa sigh _"I guess your right Adrian."_ Lissa said: I was back in my own head the pain was throbbing in my skull I got up and went back to my table, sat back, closed my eyes, and cursed under my breath "Rose, did you see a ghost again?" I looked at Calvin with a blank expression on my face I didn't want to lie because it was like lying to Dimitri "Yeah, I did." I said "I saw them too." I blinked shocked at what Calvin just said "I specialize in Spirit, much like Lissa and Adrian." Calvin said "Can you block them?" Calvin nodded "Teach me! Please." I begged Calvin was thinking about it "I don't know Rose, it can harm your baby." Calvin said "Have you ever tried?" Calvin shook his head "I won't do it on you Rose." I sigh and was suddenly hungry I ate my food in complete annoyance "Listen to me Rose," he slid his hand on mine that I jerked back because I don't want anyone to touch me unless its Dimitri Calvin sigh, "I can't do it because I am not that strong."

I felt the tears and for once I didn't care about them or anyone seeing me cry "I know." I've always done that to Dimitri thinking he's strong and powerful that I didn't understand why he always got mad at me for saying he's only human in a figuratively term "Listen to me Rose, I know you hate seeing spirits, but they are there to help you." Calvin said I nodded and wipe the tears away "I know that Calvin its just..." my stomach turned and I knew it was something bad I looked up and didn't see any Strigoi Calvin seemed to noticed me looking outside "Rose, what's wrong?" Calvin asked "I thought I sensed a Strigoi." I said with a shake of my head "It could be the food Rose." Calvin said I shook my head "No, I can tell the difference." I said.

Calvin and I was back at the hotel trying to figure out what to do next, I yawned a lot when we were thinking Calvin looked at me "Rose," I looked at Calvin, "go to bed, I'll think about this." Calvin said I shook my head"No! I want to help!" I said but yawned Calvin came and picked me up and took me to my room and laid me down "Night Rose." Calvin said "Why did you leave your girls?" I asked Calvin stopped by the door holding on to the frame I looked at him "To keep them safe, I told you-"

"Why didn't you go back though?" I asked Calvin looked at me "Because they were taken from me, after I decided this life for the safety of my girls, they took them." Calvin said and left and soon I was asleep.

_I was in the beach the same one Adrian sent me to when we saw each other the first time "Little Dhampir." I turn and see Adrian I smiled "I have never seen you smile that I'm here." Adrian said I shrugged then thought about something "Hey can you reach into any file at the Royal Court?" I asked Adrian saw something "What is it Rose? Just ask me and I'll do it." Adrian said suddenly in front of me holding my hands "I met a Moroi name Calvin Jace." so I told him the story Calvin told me "You want me to find his daughters?" I nodded._

_Adrian thought about it and nodded "Okay I'll see what I can do." Adrian said I hugged Adrian "Thank you!" I breathe I thought about Lissa "How's Lissa?" I asked "She's okay, worried about you and her godchild." I laugh "She would know that." I said Adrian smiled "What will you do after you find-?"_

_"I don't know. I'll come back home and graduate." I said Adrian nodded and kissed the top of my head "It time for us to go."_

I woke up feeling sick to my stomach. I grabbed my stake and got up Calvin was gone "Calvin?" I called the queasy feeling in my stomach grew stronger and I began to panic "Calvin?" I called again nothing, I looked around trying to see where he is. Its night time my stance was protective someone came from behind me and clamp my mouth so I would scream his scent came to me quickly it was..._  
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	4. Dimitri

1: Dimitri

It was Dimitri "Hello Roza." his voice melted me "You became more beautiful since I last saw you." Dimitri said he let my mouth go and I turned around and faced Dimitri "Where's Calvin?" I asked "Don't worry, I didn't want to hurt him." I want to tell Dimitri about his child but seeing him made me forget "You should awaken, if you awaken you can be with me forever Roza." Dimitri said my heart raced and I panic because I feared for my baby "Dimitri, you know how much I want to be with you... more then anything." Dimitri nodded "But... I can't." I said Dimitri's eyes went dark "What? Why?" Dimitri demanded "Dimitri, I'm pregnant." I said I saw the old Dimitri, the one I loved to death "There's no way!" he growled I grabbed his hand that is freezing cold and placed it on my stomach where his kid won't stop kicking me Dimitri was evil, but he was still my love.

"With Adrian?" I stepped back "No you idiot! Yours!" I yelled angry "How?" Dimitri asked "I'm Shadow-Kissed you stupid ass!" I yelled the baby kicked and I wince backing up from Dimitri "Rose?" Dimitri said "Don't worry about me." I said "Rose, why are you here?" I looked at Dimitri with sadness in my eyes "Ah," Dimitri got it, "you came to kill me." I stood straight "No." I said Dimitri looked at me "I came to bring you back to your normal state, Dimitri, this isn't you. I know you. The real you and this isn't it... killing to stay alive. We don't-"

"Don't count me as a 'we' Rose, I am no longer one of you." Dimitri's voice was cold and hurtful "Then I guess I am here to kill you." I said Dimitri smiled "Then try to. You love me to much to kill me." Dimitri said I realized something right then and there I love my baby to kill the one who has half the traits of my baby "I love my baby more. If I have to kill you its to protect my... our baby." I said Dimitri looked hurt in a swift move I staked Dimitri he was just as surprised as I was "Rose!" Calvin called Dimitri and I looked at each other I was crying Dimitri smiled "Watch out." Dimitri said and got me around the waist and bit me I screamed "Dimitri!" Calvin yelled he pulled Dimitri off me after that I blacked out.

**Calvin**

I saw Dimitri bite Rose and I panic I pulled him off Rose and she blacked out Dimitri looked at me "Hello Jace." I growled "Dimitri, you should leave." I said "Why? Rose taste so good." Dimitri said "Because she's pregnant with your child!" I snapped "Yes that she is." Dimitri soon realized what he did "Take her back home." Dimitri said "And you?" I asked "I can't go back." Dimitri said then we both heard something break and Rose screams I looked back at Dimitri but he was gone I went to Rose and saw her holding her side she was up how much did she hear?

**Rose**

All I remember is what woke me up was something breaking from inside me I screamed in pain "Rose? Rose can you hear me?" it was Calvin I held my side and cried "We need to get you back in Montanan." Calvin said and picked me up.

**At the Academy**

I opened my eyes to be back in a familiar place I groan in annoyance "Rose." it was Lissa, I knew she was next to me because of our bond "Rose. Rose your mother is here." I looked at Lissa "Why?" I asked "She wants to make sure your okay." Lissa said "Bullshit." I breathe "Rose." I got off the bed and almost lost balance if Lissa wasn't there and stopped me I looked at her "Thanks." Lissa was worried "Let your mother see you." I opened my mouth to protest but she stopped me "You would do anything for me. Do this for me." I looked away "Please Rose, I'm worried." I sigh "Okay Lissa." I said Lissa looked at me "He hurt you, your in pain." Lissa said through the bond I feel anger and other things and I did something before things got to bad. I went to see my mother and we talked about my options and I said I will help but come when my baby is five years old "Don't." mom said "Why?" I asked "I thought the same and look at us. Stay with your baby because this," she place a hand on my stomach, "is what you want to protect." mom said.

I looked at my Mother and nodded. I then thought back to when I was in the hotel with Calvin I shot off my chair "Calvin!" I panic "Rose-"

"Where's Calvin?" I looked at my mother "He's in the feeders quarter." I nodded "Rose sit down and relax." I sat down and calmed down the best I could the door opened and I saw Calvin I got up and hugged him "My god he didn't hurt you did he?" I asked "No, he didn't." Calvin said I nodded and finally calmed down "I have someone you want to see, they've heard of you." Calvin said with a smile I was lost then two girls who had blond hair with black highlights and their eyes were gray and blue "Marissa and Kelly." Calvin introduced us "This is Rosemarie Hathaway." they smiled "Hello." they both said I smiled "How?" I asked looking at Calvin "That other spirit user, Adrian I think, pleaded the Queen." I was shocked "You really killed bad vampires?" Kelly asked "Kelly that's not something to ask-"

"No its okay, yes I do." I said they smiled and said "Cool." we all smiled I felt sick as in bad things are near sick I left the room and looked outside "Rose, you sensed something?" I nodded "Yeah." I said "I'll tell the guards." my mom said and left. I sent the best people to protect Calvin's girls and we were both outside "Rose!" I turn and see Adrian I broke down seeing him I ran to him and hugged him "Your back!" Adrian was crying he kissed me I was caught by surprise but I kissed Adrian back "Don't fight Rose." Adrian muttered "I have too." I said breaking the kiss "Rose think of your baby." Adrian said "Think about Lissa!" I countered back I kissed Adrian one more time and left.

After battling about twenty Strigoi I was getting weak and tired curse being pregnant "Rose!" I saw Calvin helping my mother "Get out of here!" Calvin yelled at me "I have to protect the school!" I yelled back then his scent came I turn and hit but he grabbed my wrist and smiled "Hello Roza." Dimitri said and placed a hand on my stomach and smiled I moved from him and kicked him wincing in pain I held my stomach in agony and purse my lips in a thin line to not cry out Dimitri came again and wrap his arms around me it was like we were dancing but I had to do two thing to do: keep the school safe and second don't get hurt: "Come now Roza, come with me, have our baby together." Dimitri said I shook my head "Dimitri!" it was Eddie what the hell no! I saw Eddie and saw the stake "Eddie no!" I yelled Dimitri grabbed him and toss him back "Eddie!" I screamed my scream doubled in pain because my body shut down and I felt so much pain in my stomach. Oh god I can't do this the last thing I saw was my mother coming with Calvin and taking me out the battle.


End file.
